Seven Years

September 24, 2003 is a day that will always be embedded in my mind. That is the day that our 2 1/2 year old son Luke was diagnosed with autism. Our journey into autism actually started back when Luke was 15 months, we noticed our baby who had always been ahead on the developmental schedule was falling severely behind. So we did what many parents do and went into denial. "He's just fine, boys develop a little slower than girls." we would tell ourselves, or we'd listen to the comments of others "My son didn't talk until he was three, and look at him now he's a doctor!" But our denial didn't last long, when Luke was 18 months my husband Mark came home from work one day and Luke was sitting in front of the TV. He tried to get his attention and to get a greeting from him but Luke seemed deaf and did not even turn his head to say hi to Daddy. Mark looked at me and said "Something is wrong with our son, he doesn't even know who I am." That shook me out of my denial, I knew at that moment that Luke more than likely had autism. The next day I made calls to get Luke appointments for him to get evaluated, went to the library and checked out every book I could find on autism and started researching the web. About a week later I was reading Lynn M. Hamilton's book Facing Autism and as she described her son I realized she might as well have been describing Luke. That night I locked myself in my bedroom and cried and prayed. It was in the course of that emotional night that I felt God's promise to me the same promise He spoke of in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,"..."plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God had plans for me, He had plans for Mark and He had plans for Luke. Autism is not easy it has filled our lives with heartache and blessings. Because of autism I've been angry, hurt, and saddened but I have also been joyful, humbled and changed for the better by it. I don't know how I would have faired on this journey without His amazing grace and peace in my life but this journey is not over yet. I live every day in hope. I pray everyday for healing. And more important I thank God everyday for the quiet shout He gave me over seven years ago that let me know He is in control.